I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
