My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
