Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
