i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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