btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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