Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
