How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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