my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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