i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
