I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Randomize
