Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You were trust falling into bushes
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
