Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
