how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
