We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think people are normalizing furries
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