Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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