like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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