I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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