no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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