how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
