he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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