I CAN MOONWALK!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
MIDGETS
????
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
