is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
