Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
