Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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