can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I met the friendliest cop last night
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Rumble strips road head = magical
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
