recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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