So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize