i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize