Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize