well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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