My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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