This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
