I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
