you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
