No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
