If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
