I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
