Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
