its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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