i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
