It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
