Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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