Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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