is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
