you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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