Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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