So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
