I wanna bring you to show and tell
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
