Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
