I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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