Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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