you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
