I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Randomize
