Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
