bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
