Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
did i walk over a car last night?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
