that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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