You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
