the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I have aggressive nipples.
All I want is dick and wine.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
