Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
my liver is dry heaving
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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