i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
