even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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