Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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