"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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