he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
