you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
