The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
