belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
