sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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