Texts From Last Night

(802): View more from Vermont

his penis is PERFECT

(802): View more from Vermont

I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm

(802): View more from Vermont

or knit it little hat

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Comments

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just make sure its always wearing a raincoat.

Submitted by underagehangover on Jul 18, 10 at 2:27pm

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dick in a box!

Submitted by SSSSSSSS on Jul 18, 10 at 4:01pm

251 163
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I'd wear a hat on my penis. It already has a turtleneck

Submitted by theDude420 on Jul 18, 10 at 2:37pm

236 168
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This is a joke from a shitty romantic comedy

Submitted by rjgree4 on Jul 18, 10 at 3:47pm

201 167
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Always classy in Vermont

Submitted by lenaki on Jul 18, 10 at 8:17pm

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Ahhh...the epic win in a girl's life. And a creative genius has created the Clone-A-Willy to have a perfect copy available at all times.

Submitted by PhoenixGray on Jul 19, 10 at 2:50am

149 142
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There is a line, you know. A very ambiguously defined line where love of a wang is perfectly acceptable on one side and irrevocably creepy on the other. It's difficult to pinpoint when you crossed that line, but the hat comment shows that you have, in fact, crossed it.

Submitted by mayorbee on Jul 18, 10 at 7:44pm

160 171
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Boring Balack use spellcheck.

Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 19, 10 at 2:02pm

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That's a quote from a movie..

Submitted by wallacelizabeth on Jul 19, 10 at 10:41am

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No such thing as a perfect penis. They're ugly (sometimes little) things that can sometimes do magical things.

Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 18, 10 at 9:13pm

145 168
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Ok this is a direct quote from Uma Therman in Prime... It was the only funny part in that crappy movie.. The fact that it's on here is just lame...

Submitted by S_P on Jul 19, 10 at 5:07am

129 140
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Dick In a Box!

Submitted by APromiseToBurn on Jul 18, 10 at 5:07pm

146 174
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I had a friend he had the perfect penis. I named it Jesus !! Everytime I saw it I was like. Oh Jesus.

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 10 at 3:37pm

140 163
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Stage 5?

Submitted by marsho on Jul 18, 10 at 9:38pm

148 187
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stick it in your VAG. it will be warm and safe

Submitted by ghettofairyxx on Jul 19, 10 at 3:29am

137 167
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There are ugly penis and handsome penis. Hate prob have ugly penis.

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 10 at 10:12pm

131 155
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WILLIE WARMER.

Submitted by HelloHannah on Jul 20, 10 at 10:46pm

118 144
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Text me!! Six zero five - five five three four seven eight eight

Submitted by Jdub77 on Jul 19, 10 at 2:22pm

130 170
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Son of a.....!

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 10 at 2:23pm

115 140
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Lex?

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 9:40pm

128 170
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I think I know this penis... J longhost from boise?

Submitted by firstyfollower on Jul 18, 10 at 2:42pm

127 169
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Leo?

Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 23, 10 at 12:42pm

123 162
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Purveyor of perfect penis presents pretzels properly and promptly....

Submitted by firstyfollower on Jul 18, 10 at 2:40pm

126 170
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Im Sooo firsty for pretzels...

Submitted by PolarBare on Jul 18, 10 at 2:23pm

124 176
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And name it prince

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 9:48am

116 163
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Someone tell me wat the fuck firsty meens?

Submitted by BalackOBombsUs on Jul 19, 10 at 9:26am

116 163
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Nothing better than a perfect penis :)

Submitted by Nadiamurderface on Jul 18, 10 at 4:46pm

129 190
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Hahahahahahaha that's awesome!

Submitted by connermcpherson on Jul 18, 10 at 10:03pm

120 176
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That's just nasty. Lol.

Submitted by razr7670 on Jul 19, 10 at 12:05am

113 165
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1. cut a hole in the the box\n2. put your junk in that box\n3. give your lover the box\n4. have her open the box\nDICK IN A BOX

Submitted by cdog14 on Aug 19, 10 at 12:35am

124 193
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Rofl. Been there. ;)

Submitted by temeriti on Jul 18, 10 at 2:26pm

110 179
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That's fucked up.

Submitted by wooowduuude12 on Jul 18, 10 at 2:27pm

113 186
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Mayorbee are you the mayor of firstyland?

Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 18, 10 at 10:28pm

102 166
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Zomg. Firrrrrrrst

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 10 at 2:23pm

115 193
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2:27 = win. :D

Submitted by cheeerleaderrr on Jul 18, 10 at 2:30pm

107 180
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I already has a head to put the hat on it too

Submitted by met_b4_not_sure on Mar 3, 13 at 12:09pm

56 80
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4:01- hahaha why didn't I think of that?!

Submitted by wooowduuude12 on Jul 18, 10 at 4:23pm

117 204
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(802): View more from Vermont

(802): View more from Vermont

(802): View more from Vermont

Comments

Submitted by underagehangover on Jul 18, 10 at 2:27pm

Submitted by SSSSSSSS on Jul 18, 10 at 4:01pm

Submitted by theDude420 on Jul 18, 10 at 2:37pm

Submitted by rjgree4 on Jul 18, 10 at 3:47pm

Submitted by lenaki on Jul 18, 10 at 8:17pm

Submitted by PhoenixGray on Jul 19, 10 at 2:50am

Submitted by mayorbee on Jul 18, 10 at 7:44pm

Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 19, 10 at 2:02pm

Submitted by wallacelizabeth on Jul 19, 10 at 10:41am

Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 18, 10 at 9:13pm

Submitted by S_P on Jul 19, 10 at 5:07am

Submitted by APromiseToBurn on Jul 18, 10 at 5:07pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 10 at 3:37pm

Submitted by marsho on Jul 18, 10 at 9:38pm

Submitted by ghettofairyxx on Jul 19, 10 at 3:29am

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 10 at 10:12pm

Submitted by HelloHannah on Jul 20, 10 at 10:46pm

Submitted by Jdub77 on Jul 19, 10 at 2:22pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 10 at 2:23pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 9:40pm

Submitted by firstyfollower on Jul 18, 10 at 2:42pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 23, 10 at 12:42pm

Submitted by firstyfollower on Jul 18, 10 at 2:40pm

Submitted by PolarBare on Jul 18, 10 at 2:23pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 10 at 9:48am

Submitted by BalackOBombsUs on Jul 19, 10 at 9:26am

Submitted by Nadiamurderface on Jul 18, 10 at 4:46pm

Submitted by connermcpherson on Jul 18, 10 at 10:03pm

Submitted by razr7670 on Jul 19, 10 at 12:05am

Submitted by cdog14 on Aug 19, 10 at 12:35am

Submitted by temeriti on Jul 18, 10 at 2:26pm

Submitted by wooowduuude12 on Jul 18, 10 at 2:27pm

Submitted by dirtyfirsty on Jul 18, 10 at 10:28pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 10 at 2:23pm

Submitted by cheeerleaderrr on Jul 18, 10 at 2:30pm

Submitted by met_b4_not_sure on Mar 3, 13 at 12:09pm

Submitted by wooowduuude12 on Jul 18, 10 at 4:23pm

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