I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
