were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
