Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
